We are constantly and continuously in search of someone to love and accept us. Regardless of how many times we get rejected, we are like a lost puppy seeking our owners’ approval and love. Even when they treat us badly, we always go back to them.
My name is Oyinlola, and I can’t count how many times I have acted like a lost child, jumping from one guy to the other, all in the name of love.
Let me tell you a short story about my love life, starting with my very first boyfriend, or rather, man friend.
I met Mr. Adetunji when I was 17 years old, freshly out of secondary school. I happened to be a very naive little girl looking for someone to make her feel beautiful, and he fit right into it.
He was charming, fine, rich, and, let’s not forget, married with two kids. And he was ready to spend his money and shower me with so much affection. Even though I knew I shouldn’t have anything to do with a married man, I just couldn’t stay away.
I remember meeting him for the first time, and my first thought was that this man was handsome. We became friends after a while, and occasionally he would come over to pick me up and take me out.
He constantly told me sweet nothings and how beautiful I was. He also showed interest in my education, which was my biggest priority at that point in my life, and he was bothered by it.
The truth is I have never been loved or shown so much attention and affection as he showed me, so I welcomed and accepted everything he did to me.
On a very lovely Thursday afternoon, I received a call from him requesting I come over to the hotel he was currently at. I was so excited to see him because he hasn’t been around for a while now.
I saw him, we kissed for a while, and he told me he wanted to have sex with me. I told him no, because I didn’t feel it was the right thing to do. I recall him lecturing me on why I should and how I wasn’t doing anything wrong, not to mention all the benefits I’d still receive from being with him.
The thing is, I thought at that point in my life, he was the only one that could help me through school and help me make something good from my life. Seriously, how wrong could I have been? Anyway, I gave in and had sex with him. The thing is, I felt like a stupid person, and I tried staying away from him for a while, but it turned out that I was only hurting myself because part of my brain already concluded that I was in love with him. I wish I knew better.
I started playing a cat and dog game with him even after I realized that he never loved me and was just using me to fulfill his own sexual desires. He didn’t love me or care about me, but I kept going back over and over, seeking his love and approval like the lost puppy I was.
I couldn’t even share with anyone what I was going through because I felt they were going to judge me or would never understand how I felt. So I did the only thing I could. I was silent. Even when I knew he was taking advantage of me, I stayed on till I couldn’t take it anymore, i figured I deserved better than him, so I moved on.
When I finally left him, he kept reaching out and wanting me back and……….
