Why is it so hard to let go of the experiences that caused us so much shame, pain and grief? I have struggled with letting go, moving forward from the things that caused me so much sorrow.
Getting rid of the guilt that comes with some memories, shame, and even resentment. This makes me feel like a hamster in the wheel, no matter how hard I try and I can’t seem to move forward.
A lot of us get stuck in the past because of our need for certainty. Certain that we can avoid pain and ideally find some satisfaction in our lives.
Letting go means stepping into the unknown future. It means having the courage to let go of all the pain, the hurt and becoming, vulnerable enough to embrace and learn from what’s ahead.
Letting go is essential. If you struggled with letting go of your past, here are some approach that has helped me truly let go and move on.
1. Identify what’s holding you back
The first step is to acknowledge what is holding you back, what exactly are you holding on to, a failed relationship, or what?.
Is there someone you need to forgive so that you can let go of the resentment and step into a more peaceful mindset?
Once you can identify what’s holding you back, it makes it easy to move on to the next stage.
2. Decide to let Go.
Things don’t just disappear on their own. You need to commit to letting go. If not you can end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on. Deciding to let go means accepting you have a choice to either hold on to the pain or let it go.
Ask yourself; what are the reasons you must move on beyond a situation. How will your life change when learn to move on from the past?. This will help you stay committed to letting go.
3. Realize that your emotions are valid.
It doesn’t matter how long ago something happened. Whatever emotions you feel concerning that occurrence is valid.
Don’t suppress how you feel, cry if you have to because if you don’t stop burying your emotions you will never move on. Allow yourself to feel and grief whatever emotion is attached to the past.
4. Don’t let the past define you
It can be hard to separate the event that caused you so much pain from who you are as a person. It also possible that you create and maintain pain because they give you a sense of identity however that’s not who you are but because you’ve held on to the situation for so long you become a nobody without the situation.
Our tales shape us but they don’t define our personality. Don’t let the bad experiences become who you are. Let go of the past and make room for the present. Focus on here and become at peace with yourself.
5. Forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is never a sign of weakness rather it’s a reflection of strength. Sometimes we blame ourselves for a situation that we never had control over. Forgive yourself and whosoever caused damage to truly let go of the past.
Stop beating yourself up over it. There is no way you can think of a future when you are so angry about the past. If you can’t forgive yourself, how then will you be able to live in a peaceful future?.
6. Surround yourself with positive people.
Letting go of the past is much more difficult to accomplish if you are around people that constantly remind you about it. Surround yourself with positive people who are committed to your growth and progress, you will find it much easier to move on.
I know letting go can be frustrating and moving on is not easy. The past pain, anger, hostility hold us back. However, gaining a clear sense of the reasons why we need to move on from the past will make the journey easy.
The purpose for wanting to move on should serve as your emotional drive when you feel like giving up.
