Labi, “what do I do now?” Jessica lamented as she sat across my table. “Do about what?” I asked back “there is this guy in my department, he is a very good friend of mine and that is all there is to us friends but I cannot shake up this feeling I have for him, what can I do? Labi, please help me.” She retorted.
A whole lot of us are just like my friend Jessica, we are emotionally killing ourselves on the inside for someone we obviously like but are too afraid to speak about it for the fear of appearing desperate. Not to worry because stated below are actions you can take to ask a guy out without coming off as desperate;
You must understand and truly believe that you are a queen, you are worth more than gold and diamond.
A whole of ladies appear desperate because for starters they don’t even think they deserve or are worthy of what they are asking for.
Understand that irrespective of how great or handsome the guy might seem he is just human and so are you, focus on your strength and all that makes you great, and know your worth before you chase after that guy.
Ask yourself genuine and hard questions like, why you are interested in the guy, why you would love to go out with him or be in a relationship with him, what are the qualities you see in him that makes you want to be with him, are you really interested in him or you just like the idea of him?
Show up as a reliable and trusted friend; invite him out on casual outings somewhere that doesn’t scream official date but casual enough for you both to gist, have fun and for him to see you.
Get advice and help from close relations or friends, advice that will help you understand and access the situation better and that can also help you understand the guy better in order for you to be able to relate with him from his area of interest.
Don’t fantasize about him as this can breed uncontrollable and unwanted emotional connection.
Tell him how you feel in a subtle way, you might not want to go all out but at every chance you get be sure to throw in some green light.
Once you’ve said how you feel read the room, observe his said and unsaid words and do well to accept his answer whatever that might be.
Note that the steps above are not cast in stone, there is really no one way that fits all which is why you must first work on yourself before you proceed into asking out your crush and always remember that irrespective of the choice he makes, whether it’s a no or a yes, even if it’s a nothing in this world makes you less than you are. You are perfect just the way you are.
