Without sugar-coating these words, sexual grooming is simply grooming for abuse. “Sexual grooming is the slow, methodical and intentional process of manipulating a person to a point where they can victimize.” It can happen online and physical.
Online sexual grooming, this abuse takes place on the internet and could lead to a physical ‘private’ meeting. The abuser instructs their victims to share sexual images, and perform sexual acts on live video.
1. No one is safe: Anyone can be a victim of sexual grooming. Venerable people are usually targeted, then trust is built, then you let down your guide and they strike. Sexual grooming has a relationship with religion, culture, gullibility, insecurity, etc.
2. It’s from a familiar person: Because this person has over-time built a relationship with you, they know enough of you. This sexual predator finds their targets and gains their trust or the family’s trust.
You need to understand that sexual predator is patient and goal-oriented, they won’t jump right into sexual abuse, they often find something to connect with their victim, build friendship and aim for the goal post.
This person can come in form of a mentor, making you think that he or she can train you in a particular field.
3. Secrecy is what they often look out for: They tend to build a relationship with the victim a secret. They give excuses for making the interaction private which can make the victim feel wanted and special.
Making it secret means that they are trying to isolate the victim from their support system for them to penetrate and maintain control.
In most cases the victim keeps the abuse a secret because this abuser has said “if you tell anyone, no one will believe you”, threatening to kill the victim if the matter goes to the public, making the victim feel that they are too be blamed for what happened.
4. There is a way out: When in such a situation, the first step is knowing that something is off, then talking to a professional who can help, or take advantage of online helplines.
5. As a relative or friend, you can help but you have got to tread carefully. You can help the victim seek professional help even if he/she says otherwise (victims usually do not feel like they need help). And build a trust system and listen to what they have to say. Never blame the victims.
