No matter how much you love each other, there’s probably a part of you that wonders how or if your relationship will survive the long distance between you. First of all, just know that long-distance relationships can succeed like the others
Here are some sure tips to get your ship from sinking
- Communicate as much (or as little) as you need to feel connected.
Some people find it hard to talk every day. Discuss with each other what works for the general frequency and length of time you will spend texting, talking, or video chatting in a day or week.
And be open to modifying your communication tendencies as life creates new and unexpected demands.
2. Remind your partner frequently what you love about your relationship.
Doubts, insecurities, and jealousy can run high in long-distance relationships simply because you’re spending so much time away from each other.
The next time you talk, tell your partner how much you love and appreciate your relationship. And if you’re feeling uncertain about where you stand, don’t be afraid to ask for reassurance for yourself.
“I love you and wish we could be together today,” is as wonderful to say as it is to hear.
3. Forge a secure attachment by supporting each other’s interests.
Whether you’re together or far apart, you and your partner will continue to grow and change as life moves forward. That is both normal and a good thing.
Even if it forces your relationship to change some in the process. One of the best things you can do to promote a secure attachment is supporting your partner as they grow in their strengths and interests.
4. Find a way to hang out together while apart.
Whether it’s using lasting, reading the same book, streaming the same show while talking on the phone, playing games online, listening to the same playlist, or even eating at the same chain restaurant on the same night all of these can help you and your partner feel more interdependent and, ultimately, more connected.
5. Learn how to address important issues both remotely and in person.
Whether you’re living under the same roof or oceans apart, all couples need to learn healthy ways to talk about and resolve conflicts.
Bigger problems can arise if you ignore little struggles or are unwilling to address sensitive topics.
Learning how to talk about difficult topics takes time and effort, but it’s essential to the health of your long-distance relationship to not let small problems balloon into bigger ones.
6. Focus on the positive aspects of long-distance.
Being detached from the person you’re madly in love with can hardly seem like a positive thing. But where you can’t immediately change your situation, you can immediately change your attitude.
Frustrating as it might seem to be separated, try to think of a few ways your long-distance relationship is beneficial.
Do you have more time for hobbies or working out or spending time with friends and family?
Make a list of the positive aspects of long-distance and focus on these during the harder days when the distance is getting to you.
7. Respect the reason why you’re apart.
There’s no doubt you’ll have days when your long-distance relationship seems especially difficult.
You might even be tempted to do something impulsive—like quit your job or drop out of school just so you can be together with the person you love.
While that might sound romantic, remember there’s an important reason you’re living far away from the person you love right now.
That reason may hinge on a professional, financial, or family situation that needs to play out properly until the timing is right for you both to be together geographically.
Don’t let months or years of progress go to waste out of impatience to finally be together. Your relationship will be stronger in the long run if you finish what you’ve started and finish it well.
8. Be there” even when you can’t be there
Long-distance couples may need to be more intentional about responding to each other’s attempts to connect.
If you’ve scheduled a time to talk with your partner, make that call a priority, just as you would any work meeting or doctor’s appointment.
If your partner has an important day, call or text preemptively to find out how it went. By weaving your partner’s needs into your day, you’ll demonstrate that you’re there for them, no matter how far apart you might be.
9. When the time is right, create a long-term plan for merging your worlds.
Anyone who’s been in a long-distance relationship can attest to the underlying heartache of being apart from the person you love.
If you’re in a relationship with the person you want to spend your life with, at some point you’ll need to craft a plan to join your worlds together.
Whether this involves a wedding, an engagement, a job change or a relocation, be sure your plan considers the right next step at the right time for both people.
Having the hope of being together long-term can help you ride out the toughest days of being apart from one another.
That little bit of hope can go a long way toward making the one you love seem not quite so far away.
