Loving yourself can be one of the difficult, but yet the most important thing you can ever do for yourself. On various occasions have had people ask me what self-love means and isn’t self love selfish.
What is self-love?
Self-love is a state of appreciation of one’s own worth and virtue. Having high esteem for your health and happiness.
Self-love means different things for different people because we all take care of ourselves in our own unique ways.
Is self-love selfish?
Self-love isn’t selfish at all but it might appear selfish to other people because you are putting yourself first above any other things.
The reason it may look or seem selfish to people around you is that you have chosen to take care of your own need and not sacrifice your well-being to please them.
Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
The polar opposite of self-love is people-pleasing, when you focus more on making other people happy and neglecting yourself, trying to get others to love you in the process lose your self-worth.
Why you should love yourself
A lot of people find it easier to love others than to love themselves.
Most of us subject ourselves to harsh criticism, unhealthy relationship, self-abuse and just being awful to ourselves. Dwelling on our inadequacies rather than our strengths.
It’s high time we learn how to treat ourselves better and give ourselves the same love we easily give others. When you learn to love yourself you also show people around you how to love you.
This also improves your relationship with yourself; after all, you are the one person you will always be with.
It is very integral that you enjoy your own company because your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. So you have to spend time developing and building a loving relationship with yourself.
To love you is to experience satisfaction, assurance, and security on a whole new level.
8 Self Love Tips
1. Discard negativity
Many people have issues letting go of negative thoughts they have about themselves or letting go of negative things people have said about them.
These negative thoughts or word often comes from people whose opinion we value and from the ones we seek to love and acceptance from.
Focusing on these negative opinions is a terrible habit you should do away with.
I need you to understand that you can’t control the words and actions of other people but you can control your response and reactions to them. So instead of dwelling on the negativities remind yourself of your self-worth.
2. Accept that you are not perfect.
Nobody is perfect we all make mistakes.
Ignore the voice in your head that says you need to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack, we learn from our mistakes and grow from them.
You are an imperfect person living in an imperfect world.
3. Never ever compare yourself to others.
No one is better or worse or less than you. We are all different people. You are valuable just as you are and you need to accept that fact.
Other people’s success or failure does not mean you are inferior or superior in any way. It only means we are separate as unique people with our own strengths and weaknesses.
4. be intentional about loving yourself.
Loving yourself isn’t a feeling to be conjured up. You need to be intentional about it by emphasizing the action: “what can I do to love myself” or “how do I take care of myself today”.
Take yourself out; add something fun to your care agenda every week. Don’t neglect or cancel your plans for other things. We all need fun in order to feel good.
5. Learn to say No
Boundaries are an essential part of loving yourself this way you let others know that you deserve and expect them to respect you.
Sometimes we over-stretch ourselves too thin just to please people. Forgetting to look after our own interests, time, and self. Learn to say No when you need to or when you feel overwhelmed.
6. Do what makes you happy
Figure out what makes you happy, how do you feel when doing certain activities.
Find out what gives you joy and fulfill it as often as you can. The only permission you need is to feel good about what you love to do.
The more you do those things that make you happy the happier you become and the more you value and see yourself worth.
Even if it means giving up something else, cheerfully take every opportunity you have at being happy with yourself.
7. Be around people that love you
Your circle affects your whole life. The set of people you sound yourself is very powerful and important to your love journey.
You are a proliferation of the people you spend your time with, who is this person? Are they positive-minded, loving, and supportive? Or are they disrespectful, negative?
Ditch and avoid people who don’t respect or treat you right.
You need all the love you can get.
8. be nice to yourself
Speak kindly to yourself and don’t call yourself mean things. Calling yourself mean names is reducing yourself from a human to a single element of yourself that you don’t like.
The world is already full of mean things and people so rather than bring you, down celebrate yourself.
You deserve to be celebrated.
On a final note learning to love yourself requires you to be patient, kind, gentle, understanding, and compassionate to yourself.
Love yourself with the imposition of expectations or conditions. Love without judging yourself or others. Also, support yourself with positive affirmations.
