“The sex education I received at the age of 9 was scantily detailed, and I self-taught myself a lot of things after my mom passed away. It was weird when I first learned about sex because it was described to me as something scary.

Sex education was not done to teach, but to scare us…” an anonymous female Nigerian said. 

26 years old, Olamide has this to say “The sex education I received at age 13 was scary, and it felt like something I must never talk about to anyone.

All I was taught by my mom was that sex is the evil thing that gives you unwanted pregnancy, pause your career and life, and turns you into a single mother that society scorns (at least in the African setting where I was raised).

Basically, sex is the misfortune that can happen to me, to make me turn out like my own mother—sadly that was how sex education was delivered to me.

Olamide further talked about the impact on her life “I am 26, a virgin, and it has hugely affected all the relationships I’ve been in because most of my partners wanted penetrative sex.

I was taught that sex in relationships damages the relationship, because your partner begins to disrespect you, and will eventually leave you for someone else, a virgin—who he will “take home to mama”.

If anything, I have seen relationships of my other female friends who are sexually active, blooming. I can’t comprehend how I believed this lie about sex for 26 freaking horny years!”

Why is sex education shrouded in secrecy and slangs? Why do we often get unnecessarily uncomfortable when talking about sex? Why do we most times avoid the discussion?

And most times refuse to sit as parent or guardian with our own children to teach them sex according to their understanding and age? And when we do why do we make it sound scary?

When we shy away from matters like this, we deprive the younger generation of knowledge about basic sex education. We push them to ignorance where they learn presumption, misinformation and myths, which has no limits.

For instance, in some countries, there are men who believe HIV can be cured by having sex with a virgin – reason sex education should include both female and male gender.

What is sex education?

Sex education is the teaching of the knowledge and understanding of our bodies in their natural sexuality. It simply means teaching young people to know how their bodies work and to take care of them. It also teaches open, shame-free conversations.

Breaking the jinx

We cannot afford the devastating effects caused by the lack of sex education. We must engage governments, communities, families, and young people in developing sexuality education programs and policies that take a holistic approach to sexual and reproductive health.

For me, sex was too sacred to utter, what about you?