There are times you enjoy moments of silence with your partner. This is probably because he is emotionally present. Showing you that he is, either with his touch, the look in his eyes, attentiveness. You just know he is present with you emotionally, physically and spiritually.
You see him every day, take care of the kids together, contribute towards the running of the home, you have sex. In all this, you feel something is missing. You feel like you are married to yourself.
Loneliness in marriage is when you both are in one place but you can feel the disconnection between you.
We are all equipped with a powerful inner knowing, called ‘intuition’, you can sense something just by the actions of other people if you pay attention. You can tell when there is something amiss.
Marry your best friend, ensure he is the right man for you, blah, blah blah. Loneliness in marriage is quite common, couples who have made effort to deal with it and overcome are probably the reason some couples are still together.
A common cause of loneliness in marriage is when you or your partner are so busy with work and the kids that you do not have time for each other. The more time passes, the wider the vacuum.
Intimacy in marriage is not overrated. Sex is not just about satisfying urges. It is about exploring your partner. Gestures after sex matter a lot as well. A little cuddle here, helping to clean up there or even taking a shower together.
Are you emotionally available for your partner? Is your partner available for you?
Sometimes you notice after sharing a problem with your spouse, you regret that action as there is no emotional support or he just always says something to make the situation worse. Gradually you stop sharing and the gap only widens the more.
Are you or your partner always putting each other down so much, you cannot stand being with them for long? When this becomes regular, there is always a tense silence between you both as you want to avoid any form of arguments or fight.
Loneliness in marriage could also be caused by past experience. You allow a mistake from your spouse to open the door for past experiences to begin to hurt you again.
Loneliness is not a rare feeling, we might or still have experienced it at any point in our lives. Marriage is not the solution neither is divorce the cure.
With or without marriage, you need to begin to live and enjoy your own company. Appreciating life and the good things that come with it, no matter how small, is a good way to start.
A common feature in CVs, effective communication. Apply it daily, in your relationship with everyone.
Invest in your marriage.
